I'm about to catch up on all the lovely comments made while I was in hell moving, and while I do that, I thought you might enjoy a little collection of photos showing clearly that Brian and Justin are the reincarnation of Xena and Gabrielle.

And even if you don't agree, I promise...

The sheer badness of the Hal Sparks/Dee Snyder rendition of "We're Not Gonna Take it Anymore" on Celebrity Duets last night is, frankly, indescribable, although that has obviously not prevented me from trying, in two separate posts now. I think I have PTSD.

Sparks is notable for having been called "too white" by Celebrity Duets judge Marie Osmond earlier in the show, and when Marie Osmond thinks you're "too white," honey... you're too white. Not just to sing Motown, which he tried to do, not just to sing, but to GO ON LIVING.

But I'd rather see him singing Motown every day for the rest of my life than have to live through his duet with Dee Snyder again. It was tuneless and soulless and horrifying. He was wearing too much eyeliner, and in his case, any is too much.

In a few days, I'm going to post a story I wrote a while ago. It fits into the timeline between the last chapter of Desires and the first chapter of Risks, my next Brian/Justin series. Plotwise, you really don't HAVE TO read it to follow with Risks. It's more thematically important than storyline-important.

For those reading my crack!fic "Justin and Gabrielle in a Bottle" and  who have expressed an interest in the parallels between Xena/Gabrielle and Brian/Justin, I wanted to give you two links.

One is an article I wrote about the ending of the QAF series (513), in which I discuss both series - it has LOTS of photos:

Why the Ending was Bullshit

The other is an article written by my beta, gmta_nz:

Xena Lives! Her name is Brian Kinney

I also have a tag for periodic posts I make related to "Brian and Justin in the Xenaverse," which is mostly times when I notice shared themes in the two series but is sometimes silly stuff, such as photos from the two series that are eerily similar. Eventually the bottle story will be tagged that way (when it's done).

Brian and Justin in the Xenaverse Tags

Lastly, I am creating a filter for Xena fan fiction. If you're interested in reading it, comment here and I'll add you. I don't want to go shoving lesbian sex and warrior princesses and blonde sidekicks down the Brian/Justin people's throats, but sometimes a girl's gotta write what her muses want her to write. ;)

If you just want the B/J love, that will remain public, so no need to do anything.

Oh, and if, like me and gmta_nz, you're into both couples/shows, please comment? I am thinking we should band together and, like, take over the world.

I normally avoid S6 of Xena like the plague because it hurts too much, but I watched a video today that made me have an orgasm want to pin down what episode it was from, Xena and Gabrielle doing an erotic dance omg it killed me dead.

And I saw yet another reason why Xena is Brian and Gabrielle is Justin, so for gmta_nz and any closet Brian and Justin in the Xenaverse fans who are lurking here:

Xena does the knee bend dancing thing too!

In my real life, I pretend to be normal, and not have the pervy Brian/Justin love. So while now and then I do write about QAF, it's all fakey. By that I mean, I lie.

I archived an article I originally did on a gay website I write for on my own personal blog; the article was about the release of the S5 video, and it was a bit on the snarky side (I'm sure you're shocked).

In the last few days I've been on an orgy of Xena: Warrior Princess watching, doing the squeeing thing with two other "dykes in love with Brian and Justin" over the similarities between the two couples. (Thinking about how much CowLip would HATE having QAF compared to a campy show like Xena makes me happy in my pants.)

Someone asked in my comments section if I thought CowLip had "borrowed" some elements of the Xena/Gabrielle relationship deliberately, because there really are an extraordinary number of parallels. But no, I'm quite certain they didn't, because they didn't have to. That's because this isn't the Xena/Gabrielle story, and it's not the Brian/Justin story. It's not even the "reformed rake and the virgin" story. In fact, in some ways it's really not a romance story at all.

Based on the established theory that Brian and Justin are the reincarnation of Xena and Gabrielle, I have absolute proof that Justin returns to Brian after leaving for New York.

Tonight we watched the episode of Xena: Warrior Princess called "The Athens City Academy of the Performing Arts for Bards." In it, while waiting for Xena at a tavern, Gabrielle regales the crowd with the amazing stories of her life and adventures with Xena. Her storytelling powers are so impressive that a boy in the crowd, who is on the way to a bardic competition in Athens, tells Gabrielle she should compete, and if she wins, she can have one of the rare openings at PIFA the  Academy. Athens is waiting, all she has to do is show up. (And no, his name is NOT Simon and he's really sweet and not in the least bit cunty.)

Xena comes back from her reconnaissance to find her little blonde sidekick, and tell her of their next adventure. She finishes by saying, "Marry me I guess I don't have to ask what you think about that," knowing Gabrielle will say, as she always does, "Let's go!"

But Gabrielle replies, "How far is it to Athens?"

Does Xena say, "No Gabrielle, now that you've come into my life, broken down the wall around my heart and shown me what it's like to have family and love again, please stay with me"? No, because Xena is Brian Kinney. She says, "How long will you be gone?"

"Four to five years," replies Gabrielle. "I'll be back so soon you probably won't even miss me."

Does Xena contradict her and say, "But Gabrielle, yes, I will miss you"? No, because Xena is Brian Kinney, and she tells Gabrielle she'll be a wonderful bard and to follow her dream.

So Gabrielle goes off to New York Athens, has many charming adventures during the two days of the competition, and... wins. Gets a place in the Academy. And walks away from it and rejoins Xena on the road, saying, "I could stay there and learn about telling stories, or I could come back to you and live them."

The end.

And that's what really happened my story and I'm sticking to it.

So, my friends are still here, the lesbians who are into Brian/Justin but new to Xena.... yes, I know it's weird, but it's true. And we're watching the first season of Xena and squeeing "OMG it's Brian! OMG it's Justin!" every few minutes as we watch Xena and Gabrielle.

We just saw the episode "Prometheus" where Hercules guests and he and Xena go to try to unchain Prometheus to restore fire and the ability to heal to humanity.

One of them will die when Prometheus is unchained (although they do actually avoid that fate), and Xena makes Hercules promise that when she dies, "Gabrielle wants to go to the Pittsburgh Institute of Fine Arts college for bards at the Academy in Athens, make sure she gets there."

SQUEEEEEEEEEEE.

As always, for gmta_nz....

So, I have two friends visiting this weekend, both lesbians, both huge Brian/Justin fans (although possibly not in the porny sense, although maybe). Neither had ever watched Xena when it was originally on, one of them has seen a handful of episodes since I shamed her into it recommended it, and has gotten hooked. And the other doesn't much care for Xena but is, like me, a lesbian who loves Brian Kinney. So, I shared with the newby-Xenite friend some of the things gmta_nz said in her wonderful post Xena Lives: Her name is Brian Kinney. My friend went nuts with joy over Michael=Joxer, but then we sat down to watch the Xena series premiere, which she had never seen.

And then we spent the entire episode and the one that followed squeeing our little fan girl hearts out "OMG, it's BRIAN!" "OMG, it's JUSTIN!" The parallels are even more pronounced than I originally realized, including Xena never saying she's sorry and the annoying blonde who won't go away despite being told to over and over. It's... uncanny. Is it not wonderful, when fandoms collide?

I recently started watching Xena again after a long period of not seeing it. And I also blogged about it in a non-fandom area, and somehow got sucked into the whole text vs. sub-text argument all over again. It brought back so many upsetting memories for me of the ugly fights the two camps would get into years ago about whether or not Gabrielle and Xena were "more than friends." (Just for the record, let me state I feel the only reasonable answer to that question is DUH, of course they were.)

Then today I was reading someone's Queer as Folk LiveJournal, and they made a comment with which I disagree - not a novel experience, I often read interpretations of this and other shows, movies, and books that differ from mine. But for some reason, this one really got into my head and threw me, personally, off balance, in much the way the recent text/sub-text argument did on the political blog.
( After the cut: Do I need a shrink or am I making an extremely profound point about human nature? )

Who is the ultimate same-sex uber-couple? If you restrict your search to LiveJournal, you'll probably be convinced it's Queer as Folk's sexy, slutty, rich, fabulous Brian and his teenaged blond artist boyfriend, Justin. But they can't even touch the most enduring, beloved queer couple of all time, Xena,Warrior Princess, and her feisty blonde bard sidekick, Gabrielle.

Here are the top ten reasons why:

10. Gabrielle can fight back without shaving her head and playing with guns. Gabrielle can kickbox, fight with a staff, use a sword, and cover Xena's back in a fight. I admit it's cute when Brian acts all protective and stuff, but the only time Justin tried to learn to protect himself, he went apeshit nuts and shaved off all that purty blond hair. It's not reassuring. And Gabrielle never looked better than in her fetching short do.

9. Xena doesn't mind sleeping under the stars with Gabrielle, sitting around the campfire making out talking, taking long romantic strolls in the moonlight. The one single time Brian and Justin are going to go camping, Brian all but puts Justin on a plane for LA instead. And they were going to bring a DILDO with them. I ask you. Since Brian and Justin never did it, I'll just use two photos of Xena and Gabrielle sleeping outside instead.

8. Xena died for Gabrielle; Brian wouldn't even move to New York for Justin. And he lived in PITTSBURGH. In fact, Xena died more than once for Gabrielle, and to save all humanity from evil. Granted Brian defeated an evil mayoral candidate, but Xena not only defeated Callisto, she turned her good. I'm just saying. And please, contrast and compare: Callisto vs. Stockwell. Sample quote from Stockwell: "I'm scared." Sample quote from Callisto: "What a good day for a bloodbath." Just who are we better off without? And in case you're wondering why I put a picture of Callisto there... can you blame me?

7. Can you even imagine Brian letting Justin give him a hickey? Xena wakes up one morning... well, numerous mornings, they're caught in a repeating time loop but that's a whole other issue  ... with a little bruise on her throat, identified as a hickey (a term commonly used in Ancient Greece) - and no one there to give it but the little blonde bard, who looks very guilty.

6. Exactly how many times can Brian and Justin do it in Brian's shower before it starts to get, well, OLD? Xena, on the other hand, was always finding new ways to get wet play in the water with Gabrielle. And that isn't even counting the times they went canoing.

5. Argo or a noisy old ("classic") Corvette? Duh. And let's not even discuss that black Jeep from the first two seasons. Really. No wonder Justin's father tried to smash it up. Or maybe that's not why he did that. But seriously I ask you, could Brian ever send his 'vette for help, like Xena could send Argo? I rest my case.

4. When Justin got involved with another guy, Brian didn't even ask him not to leave. When Gabrielle got involved with guys, they died. All of them. One after the other. Mysteriously.

3. Brian's father was an abusive drunk. Xena's father was Ares, the God of War. I think this one really speaks for itself, don't you? Just look at them and tell me whose genes you'd rather date? Normally, as a lesbian, my opinion on this wouldn't matter, but come on.

2. Gabrielle didn't have to give up Xena for her art;  she took her scrolls with her everywhere they went. Justin had to leave Brian and move to New York to paint, because as everyone knows, you can't paint in Toronto Pittsburgh. Gabrielle, on the other hand, becomes a famous bard while lugging her scrolls around (thanks, Argo, something else Brian's Corvette can only dream of) the Greek countryside and as far as I can tell, even took them to China and India with her. Which does bring up a quick unrelated question: How did they get to China and India in like, four days, on horseback and by ship? At least they explained Justin was taking a plane to New York.

And the number one reason Xena and Gabrielle are better than Brian and Justin:

1. It didn't take Xena five years and a bomb to tell Gabrielle she loved her.