I posted a tribute video to Marc Bolan, set to David Bowie's tribute song to Marc Bolan, "Lady Stardust," on Facebook this morning. And someone sent me a link to a tribute video to Adam Lambert using the same song. (Both vids below the cut.)

And I realized then just what it is I love about Adam Lambert, and why that song just cannot ever be about him. (It's also not a very good vid, but that's a separate issue, LOL.)

A song like "Lady Stardust" comes out of an era when being non-gender-conforming was not just daring but typically treated as, even accepted to be, SAD and TRAGIC. Marc Bolan's story doesn't have a happy ending, and in the song Bowie says "I smiled sadly at a love I could not obey..." The chorus says, "Lady Stardust sang us songs of darkness and dismay" and "darkness and disgrace."

Yes, there was trash talked about Adam Lambert when he was on American Idol, and yes, there are people who think he's too out, too in your face, too sexualized, whatever. But Adam Lambert is HAPPY. He may have faced challenges and he may face more, because he's out and gay and because he's femmey-glam-non-conforming. But his is not at all a tragic story. He gave "the big fuck you" to the people who didn't want him to be out and successful and went on and had fun with his persona, his personal life, and his music.

I can't call myself a fan of his music because it tends to be too over-produced for my taste, and I just don't think he has the greatest voice (ironic, I know, from a huge Leonard Cohen fan), but I think he represents a very positive change in the world for gay people, and can't really be identified with an old-school sad song like "Lady Stardust."

"All the Young Dudes," on the other hand... that's a glam anthem I can see. I could definitely see a nice little Adam Lambert tribute video set to THAT song. ETA: Or to "Rebel Rebel"!

See what you think!

( Marc Bolan and Adam Lambert videos )

When I was 14, I fell in love with a very tortured, talented girl who ended up a heroin addict and a prostitute. This post isn't really about her. It's about me. But in order to get to the part about me, a little more about her.

She was a musician -- ironically, fandom things considered, a classically trained violinist as well as a painter. Kind of a hybrid of Justin and Ethan, LOL. Scary, right? She ended up forming a punk rock band that had some success until drugs caused it to implode the very week they signed a record deal with one of the top labels of the time for punk/new wave/alternative music. (They already had a record deal with another, smaller punk label -- but this was a HUGE break.)

I was their manager, which yes, usually is just a courtesy title for the lead singer's girlfriend, but I did actually manage them, being as how I'm a control freak and everything. And when not even my superhuman co-dependence could hold the band together, I finally realized the absolute futility of trying to "fix" junkies, and made the decision to walk away from her and try to get my life and my self back. I was 21.

It took me two years, but I got off drugs and alcohol myself, just in time to experience the newly-exploding AIDS epidemic and the loss of dozens of my friends without any form of emotional anesthesia. My timing is just awesome like that.

Anyway, however much I tried to evict her from my brain, to get back all the psychic real estate I'd deeded over to her, I've never been able to get rid of one legacy of that seven-year highly dysfunctional relationship: I am the world's biggest music snob.

After her, I mean.

I wish I could just listen to music and decide if it's interesting, beautiful, fun, enjoyable... whatever. But I don't, because first I have to ask myself it's cool enough for her. And since I apparently, deep down, have a romantical and even schmoopy streak a mile wide, every now and then something I really, really love flunks that test.

And when it does, it ends up on a super sekrti playlist on my iPod called "Just Embarrassing."

And so today I was cleaning my kitchen with the music blasting at top volume, and I felt a sudden need to be singing along to "Total Eclipse of the Heart" at the top of my lungs. So I did.

And I thought, you know, this is actually a pretty decent song. Histrionic and over-produced, but fuck... I bet relatively few people who've ever heard it can't bring it to mind.

So here's my "Just embarrassing" playlist... and listen, if some of your favorite music is on there, yeah, I know it looks like I'm calling you uncool. But it's not me... it's that girl I fell in love with when I was 14 years old.

( The world's most embarrassing iPod playlist... )

So, what about you? Do you love any songs you are a little embarrassed to admit liking? You can tell me!