I come, trembling and wan, to report that I have been traumatized yet again by a Tragic Nail Polish Incident.

In what is becoming the recurrent theme of my existence, I was on my way out the door this morning to my job as a Girl Reporter when I noticed that my carefully pedicured toe peeking out from my purple suede sandal had a chip in its dark plummy red polish.

I went into the bathroom and carefully applied one drop of polish to the chip, admired my lovely shoes and toes, and cheerfully went on my way. I had no sense of impending doom.

As I got into my car, I noticed something dark on my shoe, and leaned down to brush away what I thought was a leaf.

Oh, dear fangirls! It was a blob of dark plummy red nail polish, now smeared over the bright purple suede of my shoes!

I had no time to change my shoes, so I had to go be a Girl Reporter all the while knowing that I had a dark smeary mark on my sandal. Oh. Oh. Oh. How I suffered inside.

After completing my Girl Reporter duties, I telephoned someone I knew would understand, firehead30  . "Oh, firehead!" I cried. "Please look up how to get nail polish out of suede on the Internets and tell me I have not ruined my shoes forever!"

Properly apalled, she immediately complied, but the news was not what one might hope when one has a smear of dark plummy red nail polish on one's favorite bright purple suede sandals. I heard the doubt and fear in her voice as she read it to me. "Take a gentle detergent and mix it in warm water until it's very foamy. Take just the foam and lightly work it into the polish. If this doesn't work, but only as a last resort, try using sandpaper."

After my Tragic Incident in Austin followed by the Tragic Dropping of the Nail Polish on the Slate Floor and not to ever forget the failed promises of Sally Hansen's Guaranteed Not To Chip Polish, I am beginning to feel about nail polish the way Brian feels about violin music and Justin feels about marinara sauce.

Excuse me while I gently cradle my shoes in my arms and cry myself to sleep.