Hello, darlings.

Thank you to everyone for your kind comments on my last post -- I'm slowly but surely responding to them all.

Back when I first got into fandom, I went through what I've come to call "Brian/Justin fast forwarding syndrome," in which a viewer simply fast forwards through anything that is not Brian and Justin. (A more extreme version of this syndrome is "Brian/Justin sex scene fast forwarding syndrome.")

But when I started writing fiction, and watched the show to help me craft better stories and achieve better characterizations, I realized just how inextricably all the different story lines and characters were linked, and that it's not really possible to understand just what's being said about Brian and Justin in a given arc or episode without fully grasping everyone else's storyline, too. It's one of the reasons I began to love Season Five, by allowing all the stories to relate to and reflect on each other, instead of just having tunnel vision and only watching the B/J.

And that's all true and very nice and helpful and wonderful and of course, being such a well-balanced, thorough, conscientious writer is a huge goal of mine and I'll never turn my back on it and everything BUT.... given the craphole that is my life right now, I say, fuck it.

Ever since I was a tiny newborn fangirl I've heard of a wondrous video file that was just Queer as Folk's Brian/Justin scenes and story lines. Not just the sex scenes, but their stories. I want to watch it. I want it bad. In fact, I need it. I'm pretty sure if that file were ever made available to me it might be just what I need to heal up this last aching void where my creativity used to be and allow me to finish writing "Directions."

Oh Queer as Folk fangirls, is that video nothing but the Holy Grail of fandom? Is it just a unicorn, vanishing into the mists on the horizon? Or does it exist? And if it exists, do you have a copy you could share with me?

Love,

Xie