xie_xie_xie | The Love

The Love

I know I'm suffering severe Nail Polish Associated Traumatic Stress Disorder and probably should be lying down with a cool cloth on my head and a beautiful woman holding my hand while a small army of skilled old-world craftspeople attempts to clean nail polish off the suede of my favorite purple sandals instead of posting, but I'm feeling slightly misunderstood... no wait, that's too whiney... just wanting to be sure that my motivations for something are clear. And it's this:

I am not playing on InsaneJournal out of a fear or concern that LJ will reprimand me, delete my journal, punish me in some way, send me a threatening email, or even glance at my journal sideways, ever. I'm not afraid nor am I worried something will happen.

The thing has already happened: LJ has already made statements that ruined my respect for them as a company.

Now, I have a permanent account, so I no longer have the ability to stop giving them my own money. And I love the people here on my friends list, and I want to keep in touch with all of you. For those reasons, I haven't ordered my "I Hate LJ" t-shirt and packed up all my things in a Certified Lesbian U-Haul and moved lock, stock, and high-heeled boots to InsaneJournal.

But I am playing on InsaneJournal, absolutely. And I love it there. I love the 500 icons, which to me are part of my fandom and thus important. I love the owner of the company (as I once loved the owner of LiveJournal until he sold it to SixApart, who I do not love).

I love the energy over there. It's really exciting to be part of an expansive, welcoming fandom experience, and I've never had that before, although some of you who made the move here in the past probably have. I wasn't around then, so for me, this is a first, and I'm loving it.

And so I've been a little confused by comments sent in email or posted on some of my friends' journals about their attachment to LiveJournal. I understand that some people simply don't want to have to deal with something new, either for reasons of habit or comfort or finances. I understand some people don't disagree with what LiveJournal is saying or perhaps think I'm misinterpreting it. And I understand some people aren't really paying attention and just wish the whole thing would go away, and instead of being pissed at LiveJournal for what it's done, they're pissed at me for talking about it and reacting to it -- and maybe in their view, over-reacting. I understand all that.

What I don't understand is the way some people are using the terms "LiveJournal" and "fandom" as if they were interchangeable.

LJ is not "fandom. " Fandom is people. I know this because, for instance, the Xena fandom barely registers on LJ at all, but is a far more active fandom than QAF by far. It just never settled here on LJ. The QAF fandom, long before I ever even heard the words "Brian and Justin," took root in people's imaginations, found Internet homes on a variety of websites and email lists, and exists above, beyond, and independently of LiveJournal.

LiveJournal is not us and it's not our fandom. It's a tool. It's software. It's a company, a business.

And it's a company that doesn't share my personal values about creative expression, the free exchange of ideas, and customer relations.

For that reason, I prefer to support and pet and give love to a company that does share my values.

But in addition to having a permanent account, I really love all of you, so unless LJ's next "clarification" really goes too far for me, I am still posting here and responding to comments here. Even though I hate to support this company, I even more don't want to lose my personal connection to any of you, nor fill your lives or flists with wank and negativity.

I've tried instead to focus on doing everything I can to make it easy for people to participate in both places, and offered to make feeds from LJ to IJ or vice versa for anyone who has asked. And while it will be hard for you to believe, I've actually been somewhat uncharacteristically silent on this whole subject until now.

I firmly believe everyone needs to do what feels right to them, and participate in fandom however they want to. I'm not telling you what to do, what to value, or how to think about SixApart, fandom, or anything else, nor am I suffering under any delusion that anyone gives a damn what I want them to do. Despite my fangirl obsessions, yes, I do live in reality and am aware I do not rule the universe. If I did, believe me, that nail polish? Not on my shoe.

All I'm asking is that you not attribute motivations to me that are incorrect. I'm not afraid of something that might happen, I'm angry about something that did happen, and simply trying to reward a company that I like and admire instead of one I don't. It doesn't change my deep and abiding love for the fandom or for those of you who have joined me in the insanity of the last couple of years of my life. But that love and insanity didn't come from LiveJournal, nor do they depend on LiveJournal, nor do they belong to LiveJournal.

They belong to us.

Note: I had a very nice discussion with

critic75 that helped me get these thoughts worked out in my mind and I'd like to thank her for taking the time to hash this all out with me.

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What I don't understand is the way some people are using the terms "LiveJournal" and "fandom" as if they were interchangeable.

LJ is not "fandom. " Fandom is people. I know this because, for instance, the Xena fandom barely registers on LJ at all, but is a far more active fandom than QAF by far. It just never settled here on LJ. The QAF fandom, long before I ever even heard the words "Brian and Justin," took root in people's imaginations, found Internet homes on a variety of websites and email lists, and exists above, beyond, and independently of LiveJournal.

LiveJournal is not us and it's not our fandom. It's a tool. It's software. It's a company, a business.

Thank you. Yes, exactly. The way people go on about it makes me crazy. You set up feeds (thank you!) that couldn't be easier to add IJ to LJ flists.

It's so not a big deal, and yet, people still feel the need to try and define fandom as "LJ Only". Makes me crazy.

And yes, I too love my flist and still read it, but I post at IJ. ICONS BABY! Oh yeah and the other stuff about freedom too ;)

Shhhh wife don't let them know in reality I don't care about freedom of expression, I care only about icons....

Do you think they saw through our act...

Eh, I'll probably start an IJ eventually . . . just beyond lazy and haven't gotten around to it . . .

I totally agree with you. Fandoms in general DO NOT rely on a computer algorhythm.

Fandom is about heart. Fandom is about passion. It's not, and never should be, about "politically correct" and "dollars and cents". Unfortunately,the current atmosphere in the "mother country" of SA belies that premise.

If people are comfortable staying w/LJ, then that's what they should do, and if they're not, they should move to a different site, or, like so many are doing, maintain both sites & cross post (even though it's a pain in the ass).

IMHO, it's as if one has been playing a game and midstream, the rules are changed w/o informing anyone simply because a "vocal minority" stomped their collective feet loud & hard enough under the guise of a morality-induced concern regarding "underage chan pornography". This ultimately began as dubious warnings... which ultimately translated to dollars and cents...which ultimately results in the bottom line of 'profit & loss'. It unfortunately created substantial cracks in the concrete exterior of SA (which sadly wasn't concrete at all, just a facsimile). It's obvious that since SA hasn't been buttressed adequately (*g* word used on purpose, obviously!), they're crumbling under pressure.

For awhile, SA's wrath has been focused primarily on the Harry Potter fandom. However, considering their latest double-speak TOS, it's an open playing field now, even first year QAF.

The lines in the sand are definitely becoming more pronounced as more and more people (particularly writers & artists) are leaving LJ for greener pastures that are more welcoming for sprites & fairies!

*shrugs* Everyone really does have to do what's right for them, no matter what they decide. To hold anyone in judgment for their decision is to simply reaffirm & condone all that is wrong about SA.

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Though I do not harbour the same aminosity toward six apart, I respect those who have chosen to make a statement by leaving LJ. It's about taking action, instead of complaining. I believe wholeheartedly in that.

I am not politically driven, instead being driven by the heart, and I've chosen to stay here (95%) simply because the people I love most are here and time prevents me checking out all the feed links.

Fandom may not be LJ only, but each of these platforms (lj ij, gj, myspace) are like countries in the big fandom world, and there are little issues that get in the way of free communication across the platforms. I know there is a thriving fandom on MySpace, but I have nothing to do with it, never will I think. In the same way, I guess you can't expect everyone to embrace IJ with open arms, but I hope those lines in the sand are geographical only.

I definitely understand what you're saying and for the most part, I agree with you.

However, my difficulty w/SA is their total lack of backbone (regarding the fringe group accusations of not doing enough to eliminate "chan")...their irresolution (regarding their constant vacillating regarding their TOS)...their lack of artistic expertise (regarding what is & is not considered porn when it concerns fanfic & fan art) and last, but not, least, the irreparable & damaging effects of censorship (which I personally abhor in any shape or form).

I guess I don't care enough about the politics of it all *shrugs* I have my causes, and generally (and I'm talking about all aspects of my life here) I try to zone out negativity until it comes knocking and forces me to react.

I'm really sorry I posted in reply to your comments. I pressed the wrong reply link *face palm*

LOL..no problem! Been there, done that!

It's not a cause.

It's about freedom of expression as a person and an artist, without fear of censure or reprisal.

I've been thinking about that since I wrote it, thinking that might make me shallow but when you focus everyday on life & death decisions, you gain a different focus. I don't disagree freedom of speech is worth fighting for. I see six apart covering their asses, the real battle is actually with higher powers.

I didn't intend to say I felt you were being shallow. But it is interesting to allude to life and death issues, because it is in fact a life and death issue that gave me this perspective.

Back in the early 90s, I ran the HIV/AIDS area on America Online. We had a great deal of trouble with AOL's Terms of Service department, and also with fundamentalists and homophobes, who didn't want us to be able to have frank discussions of HIV transmission or even discuss our lives as (for most of the people involved back then) lesbians and gay men.

Eventually AOL not only gave us dispensation to have sexually explicit chats and information as long as only scientific terms for genitals etc were used, but also gave us special tools so we could throw people out of chat rooms and even block their ability to sign back into the service if they disrupted our chats. We actually had to have someone from their Terms of Service enforcement department sit in on our HIV caregiver chat every night, because it had been targeted by right wingers for disruption.

So my feelings are about my need to express myself as a writer, but the roots of those feelings are in my political self. And you say that you're more about what's in your heart than politics, but my politics ARE in my heart. I cut my teeth on "the personal is political" and it's a great part of why I loved QAF, that it was in your face and political and queer and unrepentant, both in its inclusion of political storylines and in its own refusal to be less than as explicit as it could possibly be at every turn.

And so I feel, passionately, with my heart, that I can't love this show and what it meant to me without holding myself to that standard too. It's not a... a political abstraction or an intellectualization. It's a core part of me, and it's not just about art but about life and death too.

Because if you can't show Justin getting rimmed when he's still in high school, I can't tell Justin how to put on a condom when he comes to my HIV prevention chat on the internet. To me, it's all one.

And I'm not saying this to change what you believe or do, but to explain myself.

I know you are politicaly passionate, with all your heart, it's one of the things I admire about you.

I wasn't meaning to make your passion seem misplaced or any less significant when I said that making life & death decisions gave me a different focus. Too many times in history we have seen that freedom of information and speech can be a life & death situation.

I was meaning that because of the gravity of the decisions I make in my work, when the day is done I seek escape. I immerse myself in family & friends almost actively seeking out frivolous fun and avoiding politics and reality in general. I guess it's my coping mechanism.

Can I just say too, I admire that you pushed so hard to get a big company like AOL to amend their policies and face up to their social responsiblities. ♥

I know this because, for instance, the Xena fandom barely registers on LJ at all, but is a far more active fandom than QAF by far. It just never settled here on LJ.

Oh, boy! The two are not even comparable! :)

I agree with everything, even if I'm having all kinds of emotional and technological issues with the "transition".

Are people actually complaining that some fans have chosen IJ? Weird.

Very well said. I have to agree that I’ve been mystified by some of the animosity that I’ve seen towards the whole IJ thing.

LJ is not "fandom." Fandom is people.

I completely agree with this. Prior to my finding the QAF fandom, I was a lurker in another one. That fandom was and still is all over the place. Numerous message boards, individual LJ’s, various websites, etc. If you wanted to know what was going on in that fandom, you literally had to go all over the place. Having to refresh my Flist at 2 journals is nothing in comparison. But regardless of where I have to go to participate, it’s the participation itself that defines any fandom, and not the physical location of the servers or the user interface that accesses them.

I’ve said it before, but it’s worth repeating. I enjoy being a part of this fandom and will go where it goes - i.e., where the people go. Yesterday it was LJ, today it’s IJ, and if tomorrow it’s XYZJ, I’m there if fandom is.

~Ellen

I am here in this fandom because of my love for QAF and the people I have met through it.I am playing on LJ & IJ right now.It's a little work,but that's ok.
My believes are not the same as LJ.I am glad that I never got a permanent account and will not renew once this paid year is up.I rather give my money to a company that supports us.
I don't blame people for staying on LJ or leaving.It is a personal choise.

QAF and this fandom is my happy place and I will go where I am happy(if that makes sense)

I think that LJ for me personally has been a great place to connect to others in some of my fandoms but it's not the only place I've been able to do that. I think that unfortunately a lot of people's only fandom interactivity has been through LJ and it's really a shame because there are a lot of great places online and off where you can share your obsessions.

It just seems that people have gotten so used to associating their fandom identities with LJ that they have forgotten that they liked QaF or DS or Dr. Who or Xena or whatever else they are into BEFORE LJ even existed. I'm actually really glad that you've been so vocal about your disatisfaction with LJ because it led me to InsaneJournal which I think is great! Now I have an entirely new realm in which to explore and discover.

So, if it means anything, I for one am grateful and I don't think you over reacted at all.

LJ is not "fandom. " Fandom is people.

I couldn't agree more. I was part of other fandoms long before the invention that is LJ. Before LJ it was Yahell groups (aptly named, IMHO) and before that it was the very, very basic forums with just plain text - the old _alt_ type forums. It seems that people have gotten in the habit of thinking that one domain defines a fandom and it doesn't in the least. The fans define the domain, IMHO. There were fandoms online long before LJ and there will be fandoms online long after LJ has gone by the wayside due to technovations. The fans can make the fandom be anything they want, take it where they want, when they want. If they don't like (for whatever reason) the place where the fandom seems to be be, they can always start up somewhere else. It's hard, but it's not impossible.

I can understand why there are those who are reluctant to not leave LJ. Paying for a permanent account is very valid since it's not as those people can get a refund for them. Plus, there are connections between bloggers and their flists.

I suppose, in my babbling way, what I'm saying is that there's nothing wrong with people (including you)who want to stay on LJ. If it feels like it's the right course of action for you, then it can't be anything other that the correct path for you.

Sorry for the ramble. Back to lurking under my cyber-rock.

Sidhe

I've tried instead to focus on doing everything I can to make it easy for people to participate in both places, and offered to make feeds from LJ to IJ or vice versa for anyone who has asked.

thank you very much for that, i really, really love that i can keep up with your posts (and other comms on IJ) from my flist here.

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The Love

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