He looked at me, one eyebrow raised. “Decided to try being a little less understanding?”
“Stop. Just stop.” I got up. I was absolutely not going to listen to this again.
Brian grabbed my left hand, and pulled me around to face him. “I’ll stop.”
I sat down and looked at him. “I don’t just mean now. This has to stop.”
I’m pretty sure I understand, but I could’ve used a little more clarification about what Justin means by this, so I could absorb the full importance of what he’s saying. (Maybe just an extra word or two, not even a whole sentence. ) Or perhaps my brain is tired. In other words, this last bit of dialogue feels a little vague, content-wise, but the emotional intent and intensity comes through very clearly.
I took a deep breath. “Do you think it’s all romantic bullshit, Brian? The Christmas tree lights, and the wedding rings, and the fireplace?”
He shrugged but didn’t answer me.
“Because it’s all your romantic bullshit, Brian. You bought this house, you bought this fireplace, you bought the fucking firewood. You bought the Christmas tree, and the lights, and you bought these fucking rings. I never asked you for any of this. Never.”
He turned his head, and his eyes looked hurt, but I just stood up, and picked up his ring from the table. “You can tell me it’s all bullshit if you want. You can throw our rings on the floor and tell me to fuck off. Go ahead.”
YAY, JUSTIN!
Ok, sorry. Moving on…
I started to pull my ring off, his still in my palm, and Brian grabbed my hand and stood up. He didn’t let go of my hand, just pulled it up and shoved my ring back down on my finger.
“Don’t.” He had his forehead pressed against mine, and his hand was clenching so hard on mine it hurt.
This killed. Me. Dead. My second favorite moment from all of your fic chapters.
I felt tears burn in my eyes again. “Why, Brian? Why shouldn’t I? You did.”
This hurts perfectly. *sniffle*
He shook his head, and dug his ring out of my palm, and pushed it hard on the finger of his left hand. “Don’t.”
I closed my eyes, and he just pressed his forehead harder against me, and held our hands together tighter.
“Brian…”
“Justin, Justin, please… just…” and he kissed me, and I thought, sometimes there just aren’t words for everything.
You win at everything. *is overwhelmed*
He broke his mouth away from mine, and let go of my hands, and brought his up to either side of my face, his fingers lacing into my hair. He kissed my forehead, and then my hair, and looked at me. “I love you.”
I stood there for a second, looking at his eyes, and then I smiled. “I know.”
DEAD AGAIN.
(I normally avoid talking in capslock mode, but I can’t help it here.)
He laughed, and pulled me down on the sofa, and I crawled up onto him and pushed him against the arm, and kissed him. And we didn’t fuck, or talk. We just sat there in front of the fireplace, with the bullshit romantic fire and Christmas tree lights, and our wedding rings, and held onto each other until we fell asleep.
Exactly the tone I was hoping you’d end with. I can’t explain how much I love it when things go wrong for the two of them in just the right way. I never saw this coming, and for the first time in a while, I have no idea where you’ll go with the storylines from here.
Ok, now I'm off to get some sleep. I apologize for taking so long with the feedback, again, but I needed time to think about what had happened.
rambly feedback, part 6
“Stop. Just stop.” I got up. I was absolutely not going to listen to this again.
Brian grabbed my left hand, and pulled me around to face him. “I’ll stop.”
I sat down and looked at him. “I don’t just mean now. This has to stop.”
I’m pretty sure I understand, but I could’ve used a little more clarification about what Justin means by this, so I could absorb the full importance of what he’s saying. (Maybe just an extra word or two, not even a whole sentence. ) Or perhaps my brain is tired. In other words, this last bit of dialogue feels a little vague, content-wise, but the emotional intent and intensity comes through very clearly.
I took a deep breath. “Do you think it’s all romantic bullshit, Brian? The Christmas tree lights, and the wedding rings, and the fireplace?”
He shrugged but didn’t answer me.
“Because it’s all your romantic bullshit, Brian. You bought this house, you bought this fireplace, you bought the fucking firewood. You bought the Christmas tree, and the lights, and you bought these fucking rings. I never asked you for any of this. Never.”
He turned his head, and his eyes looked hurt, but I just stood up, and picked up his ring from the table. “You can tell me it’s all bullshit if you want. You can throw our rings on the floor and tell me to fuck off. Go ahead.”
YAY, JUSTIN!
Ok, sorry. Moving on…
I started to pull my ring off, his still in my palm, and Brian grabbed my hand and stood up. He didn’t let go of my hand, just pulled it up and shoved my ring back down on my finger.
“Don’t.” He had his forehead pressed against mine, and his hand was clenching so hard on mine it hurt.
This killed. Me. Dead. My second favorite moment from all of your fic chapters.
I felt tears burn in my eyes again. “Why, Brian? Why shouldn’t I? You did.”
This hurts perfectly. *sniffle*
He shook his head, and dug his ring out of my palm, and pushed it hard on the finger of his left hand. “Don’t.”
I closed my eyes, and he just pressed his forehead harder against me, and held our hands together tighter.
“Brian…”
“Justin, Justin, please… just…” and he kissed me, and I thought, sometimes there just aren’t words for everything.
You win at everything. *is overwhelmed*
He broke his mouth away from mine, and let go of my hands, and brought his up to either side of my face, his fingers lacing into my hair. He kissed my forehead, and then my hair, and looked at me. “I love you.”
I stood there for a second, looking at his eyes, and then I smiled. “I know.”
DEAD AGAIN.
(I normally avoid talking in capslock mode, but I can’t help it here.)
He laughed, and pulled me down on the sofa, and I crawled up onto him and pushed him against the arm, and kissed him. And we didn’t fuck, or talk. We just sat there in front of the fireplace, with the bullshit romantic fire and Christmas tree lights, and our wedding rings, and held onto each other until we fell asleep.
Exactly the tone I was hoping you’d end with. I can’t explain how much I love it when things go wrong for the two of them in just the right way. I never saw this coming, and for the first time in a while, I have no idea where you’ll go with the storylines from here.
Ok, now I'm off to get some sleep. I apologize for taking so long with the feedback, again, but I needed time to think about what had happened.
♥ ♥