Well, after the angst warning, I was truly scared to read this chapter. I mean, I know you’ll fix it no matter what. Or at least as much as these two beautifully flawed, hopelessly in love people can ever be “fixed”. But still, *sniff*.

OK, but let me start with a couple of things that just made me laugh:

Brian going nuts over his missing car, and Justin’s response: “At least it’ll be home by Christmas.” I could so perfectly see this exchange taking place and it had me laughing.

And then this: I lay there a little longer, and gradually thought, Saturday. Nighttime. Home. Justin put me in a coma with a blowjob. I can hear the thoughts in Brian’s head. Oh, and the blowjob itself, um: I loved the feeling of it getting hard in my mouth. Just, guh. It’s the little extra lines like that which help set a really good sex scene apart from the clichés.

The lead-up to Brian leaving is always so quietly distressing for both of them. It’s a reality of life, but for them it just seems so much more difficult. They just don’t do well apart, and it just seems so wrong when life separates them – even temporarily. It’s like a rift in the universe or something.

Love, love, love Michael’s concern – about Justin’s hand and his lack of sleep. Even with all of the worrying he must be doing over Ben, he can still see that Justin’s having a tough time. You have restored my faith in all of the goodness that’s in Michael, and I swear if I read one more whiney, pathetic, hateful characterization of him, I’m going to pitch my computer out the window. /rant

Now, where was I. Oh, yes… Reunion sex!!! So hot. But really, by now you must have written like a million of these scenes. How do you keep making each one so distinctive? They never get repetitive, and are always full of such nice unexpected extras. And, Christ, you don’t even have sex with men. How do you know all this stuff?!?

I’m forever loving the way you write such beauty into their silent actions. No words and nothing significant, and yet: I went down and started the coffee, and while it was brewing, he came into the kitchen in bare feet, his hair wet, and wrapped himself around me.

I held onto him for a while, and when the coffee was done, I went back upstairs with him and watched him get dressed. Really, it’s about coffee and a morning hug, but its layered with teh love.

Ah, Justin. These next two paragraphs illustrate why I love him, and why he’s the only one for Brian: I thought, fuck this. I walked over to him, and ignored the “no trespassing” signs, and wrapped my arms around his waist. He felt tense for a minute, then relaxed. He turned all the way around and pulled me tightly against him, and kissed me.

Sometimes Brian just needed to fuck, and honestly, sometimes, so did I. I knew he was freaking out, I knew he’d rather swallow ground glass than talk about it, and I was tired of being okay with that.

But, Brian, you fucking bastard: “It’s being understanding, that’s what makes you the wife.” But, I know, this is Brian. We talked about this. He can be cruel and angry. Sometimes, even after all of the growth you’ve given him, he does go backwards. It’s so integral to Brian’s character, and as much as I HATE to say it, seeing this side of him is absolutely necessary to truly retain the essence of Brian.

But, Justin, true to character does not back down: “Do whatever you need to do, Brian. But get the fuck out of here.”

TBC… Because LJ thinks I’m too wordy. :(