I sat on the sofa and listened to the hail and thought. I thought about New York, and all the nights I couldn’t sleep, missing him. I looked at the firelight on my ring, and the Christmas tree, and the wrapped presents under it. I remembered last year, and the look in Brian’s eyes when I walked in the kitchen door two days before Christmas. And I thought about him coming inside me, and me inside him, and the sound of his voice when he said my name.
I thought about him telling me he loved me, in the rain outside Babylon, in this room, in bed, when he came, his voice harsh and his hands gripping me so hard he left bruises. I thought about him telling me he’d bought this house, saying he was taking a chance on love.
On me.
I remembered the night before I left for New York, and the helpless way I loved him then. I remembered him lying behind me on the sofa, crying, telling me he’d thought I’d died after the prom, and how I thought that night I couldn’t love Brian more. Until I did.
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I thought about him telling me he loved me, in the rain outside Babylon, in this room, in bed, when he came, his voice harsh and his hands gripping me so hard he left bruises. I thought about him telling me he’d bought this house, saying he was taking a chance on love.
On me.
I remembered the night before I left for New York, and the helpless way I loved him then. I remembered him lying behind me on the sofa, crying, telling me he’d thought I’d died after the prom, and how I thought that night I couldn’t love Brian more. Until I did.
Tears, tears, tears.