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Mmmmm
Brian nodded.
“If I don’t. Seriously. If something goes wrong. I need you to do this again.”
“Do what?”
“This. Love. Let someone love you.”
“Fuck you.”
“I mean it Brian.”
“So do I. Fuck you.”
“But if I’m not here.”
“Then that’s it, but you keep talking like this and I’m calling the whole fucking thing off. I’ll see you in a couple of hours. You don’t believe that, they’re not even allowed to start.”
“I know. I’ll be fine. I know that. I just need to hear you promise.”
“Then we’re going home now.”
“Brian.”
”I’m not gonna start lying to you now. You want me to promise I’ll put myself through this again. Bullshit. Once. You. So I’ll see you in a couple of hours.”
“Okay.”
“Justin.”
“Yeah?”
“I do love you. Can’t love anyone else. Don’t ask me to.” -Vamphile, "Keeping it Together"
The responsibility we bear to each other is overwhelming. I don't think Brian and I are like regular people. I don't think we love each other like regular people do. Maybe I shouldn't say shit like that, but that's what I think.
Okay, I know I'm not the most experienced guy in the world, and Brian's more of a virgin than I am when it comes to being with someone--being with one someone. But I have Ethan to go by, and I see how other people are, and I just, sort of, know it's true. Ethan and I had regular, every-day kind of love. It was nice and steady and, God, unbelievably comforting, but it wasn't life and death. It wasn't all-consuming. We weren't something totally different and totally better for being with one another. Brian and I become something different for being together, we're so much more who we're supposed to be when we're together than when we're on our own. - Myrna, "If You Needed Me"
Ice Queen...remember...
I was lying flat out, my face buried in the pillow. I pulled the phone close to my ear again, and sighed.
“Hey.”
“Hey.”
“I hate this part.”
He was quiet for a second. “Me, too.”
“I wish you were here.” I wanted him to hold me.
“Me, too.”
I sighed again, and scooted to the edge of the bed and picked up my t-shirt, and wiped my hand with it. I shifted the phone to my other hand, and wrapped my arm around myself, tucking my hand under my cheek. I could feel my hair brush against the back of my fingers.
“When I was here before, when I was living here, I couldn’t sleep a lot of nights. It was really hot, and I missed you, and I’d lie there sometimes and pretend you were holding me.”
I stopped talking for a minute, because I suddenly felt my throat close up and my eyes and nose start to burn. Brian didn’t say anything, but I could hear him breathing softly.
“Sometimes I’d touch my hair and pretend it was you touching it.” I probably shouldn’t have told him that.
There was a long silence on the other end, and I pulled back the phone to make sure the call hadn’t disconnected.
He sounded pretty normal. “Did it help?”
I shrugged. “Yeah.”
Another long silence. God, I hated the fucking phone.
“I used to pretend, too.”
I felt that burning in my nose again, but I smiled, too. “Yeah? You missed me?”
“Whenever you were gone, Justin, I missed you.”
I rolled back onto my stomach, and rested my forehead on my arm. “Fuck.”
“Hey… don’t cry.”
“I’m not.”
Neither one of us talked for a while. Then Brian sighed. “We should go to sleep.”
“Yeah.”
There was another silence, and then I heard him give a sort of huff.
“Have I mentioned how much I hate the phone?”
I laughed. “Once or twice.”
“Later.”
“Later.”
That's what you get.
Re: Ice Queen...remember...
Re: Ice Queen...remember...
It is all about the Love....why where here, at least for me:-) That others understand the love, in all its forms keeps me connected.
Re: Ice Queen...remember...
Re: Ice Queen...remember...
Xie
Re: Ice Queen...remember...
Always happy to make you Squee. I hope your furnace is fixed and you are toasty warm. If not I will come and drape myself around you :-)
Have a wonderful day!!!!!!!!!!
Fire