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xie_xie_xie (

xie_xie_xie) wrote on June 2nd, 2006 at 09:47 pm

The Incomprehensible Brian Kinney Hate

The other day I wrote a little blurby thing for a gay entertainment media website I work for sometimes, about the new QAF S5 DVD release and some other short gay-related media notes. It was humorous in tone, and I said something along the lines that I was one of many lesbians who love Brian Kinney. (I mostly try to pretend to be a normal person when I'm not here, so that was as far as I pursued that particular topic.) So, one of the editors I work with, a gay man, called me up with his knickers in a twist because He. Hates. Brian. Kinney. Said he gives gay men everywhere a bad name.

First I tried taking the rational, calming approach, which works well with madmen most of the time. I took his hands in mine and gazed deeply into his eyes (we were on the phone so this didn't work as well as it can), and said, "Hon, Brian Kinney is a fictional character. You can't hate him. It's like hating Alexis Carrington because she gives women business owners a bad name." OK, I didn't really expect it to work.

So then I tried humor. "Well, he's slutty and fabulous and rich and has a great car. What's not to love, really?" That's when he ranted about how Brian Kinney was narcissistic, shallow, a drug abuser, promiscuous, etc. etc. And then back to the "bad image for gay men everywhere." Oh yeah, and he used the phrase "Peter Pan" a lot.

I didn't want to lose my job so I didn't say, "Yeah, but when he fucks Justin it makes my panties melt," but instead said something along the lines that there was a broad spectrum of gay male characters on the show, from the marriage-minded Michael to husband-hunting ex-crystal queen Ted and yes, Brian. That I thought it was as realistic a range of human characteristics as any soap opera was likely to assemble, and actually better than most.

I may as well have been speaking Outer Mongolian. "Peter Pan, bad image for gay men everywhere, narcissism." Blah blah blah. He HATES Brian. And then I found out the next day EVERY GAY MAN AT THIS SITE hates Brian. And all the dykes love him. All of us. So, what's up with that?

To be fair, I know several gay men who love this show and love Brian and get wet panties over Brian and Justin. The friend who first got me to watch QAF by buying me the S1 DVDs for Christmas last year is a gay man. But I now know like, two dozen dykes in love with Brian Kinney (and discover more each day - the real estate agent for the people buying my house is a dyke, and she saw me photoshopping a QAF photo while she was here the other day for the home inspection, and started gushing about him), and if they aren't all totally in love in the filthy smut sense, they at least adore him as a character. I guess it's because, of course, Brian really is fabulous, and we don't have to worry about him representing us to the world, because we're not gay men. We can love him and appreciate him and think he's the coolest thing since Jimmy Choo started designing shoes, without worrying about what it says about us to all the straight people.

I've read two other theories. One is that lots of gay men have been rejected by the Brian Kinneys of the world. OK, maybe, but are there actually that many Brian Kinneys out there? I think not. The other is that a lot of gay men have behaved like Brian and they are ashamed, either of their own behavior, or to have realistic behavior in their community shown to the world.

There's maybe a certain amount of envy, too. (I mean, I want Brian's loft so bad it makes my knees shake. I'm in the middle of looking for a new house and I keep asking the agent wistfully, "Don't you have anything more loft-like?" I'd also like his money.)